When I write my monthly blogs, sometimes the subject comes easily—it speaks to me. Other times, it grows out of an experience or a workshop I’ve attended. This month, I wasn’t quite sure what I was meant to write.
As a practitioner, it’s important not only for me to give, but also to receive. I had been busy with work, traveling back and forth between New York City and Connecticut, and I could feel that I needed nourishment myself. I knew I was in need of a sound bath.
On December 10th, I attended an hour-long sound bath and Reiki session led by my fellow sound bath and Reiki practitioner, Nicole Rutsch. During the meditation, one word kept gently but persistently arising for me: forgiveness.
After the sound bath, I went to a film screening at the 92nd Street Y—Goodbye June, Kate Winslet’s directorial debut, written by her son Joe Anders.
The film stars Helen Mirren, Toni Collette, and Andrea Riseborough, and follows four siblings navigating their mother’s terminal illness during Christmas. It was a beautiful, tender, and deeply human story.
During the Q&A, the moderator and Kate Winslet spoke about the theme of forgiveness. In that moment, I knew without question that forgiveness would be the focus of this month’s blog.
What Forgiveness Means to Me
For me, forgiveness is the conscious decision to let go of resentment, anger, and bitterness toward someone who has wronged us. It does not mean excusing harmful behavior, forgetting what happened, or even reconciling with the person. Forgiveness is about freeing ourselves from the emotional grip that pain can hold over us.
It is an internal healing process—one that allows us to move forward, reclaim our emotional well-being, and often experience greater peace, compassion, and clarity.
And often, forgiveness begins with forgiving ourselves.
Self-forgiveness is deeply internal. The reality is that we may never be fully forgiven by others, but that does not mean we cannot find peace. Even if everyone we have hurt offers forgiveness, true contentment may remain elusive until we forgive ourselves. Inner peace is an inside job.
A Powerful Story of Forgiveness
One of the most moving examples of forgiveness I’ve witnessed came from DeMarcus Ware’s 2023 Pro Football Hall of Fame induction speech. I was in Canton, Ohio that year because Joe Klecko and Darrelle Revis—both New York Jets—were being inducted, and as a lifelong Jets fan, I wanted to see them honored and experience the Hall of Fame in person. Watch DeMarcus Ware’s Hall of Fame speech
While I went for the Jets, I left deeply moved by DeMarcus Ware’s story. He spoke openly about his difficult childhood, marked by abuse, abandonment, and a long estrangement from his father. Years later, his father came to him and said two simple words: “I’m sorry.” DeMarcus responded with equal simplicity and courage: “I forgive you.”
That moment became transformational. His father sat at the front table as DeMarcus was inducted into the Hall of Fame—a powerful testament to healing, humility, and forgiveness.
It is a speech that stays with you long after you hear it.
The Benefits of Forgiveness
Forgiveness supports both emotional and physical well-being. When we release resentment and bitterness, we often create space for healthier relationships, a calmer nervous system, and greater emotional balance. Letting go of anger can ease stress, reduce anxiety, and support heart and immune health. Many people also experience improved self-esteem and a deeper sense of inner peace when forgiveness becomes part of their healing journey.
Why We Hold Onto Grudges
When someone hurts us—especially someone we love or trust—it can leave behind anger, sadness, and confusion. Holding onto a grudge can feel like protection, a way to guard ourselves from further pain. When emotions aren’t fully processed or acknowledged, resentment can quietly take root. For some, holding onto the hurt feels safer than opening the door to vulnerability again.
The Cost of Holding On
Unresolved resentment rarely stays confined to the past. It can affect how we show up in new relationships, limit our ability to enjoy the present moment, and drain emotional energy. Holding onto anger may lead to irritability, anxiety, or emotional heaviness, and can create a sense of disconnection—from joy, from others, and sometimes from our own spiritual or personal values.
Moving Toward Forgiveness
Forgiveness is not a single moment—it’s a practice. It begins with awareness and a willingness to heal. Moving toward forgiveness may involve acknowledging the pain, allowing yourself to feel what needs to be felt, and consciously choosing not to let the experience continue to define you.
Support can be an important part of this process, whether through therapy, spiritual guidance, meditation, journaling, or community. Forgiveness does not mean minimizing harm; it means choosing peace over prolonged suffering.
When Forgiveness Feels Impossible
There are times when forgiveness feels completely out of reach—especially in the absence of accountability or after deep betrayal. In those moments, it can help to soften rather than force. Practices such as meditation, prayer, reflection, or remembering times when you yourself have been forgiven can gently open the heart.
Forgiveness often unfolds in layers. Even small steps toward release matter. Some wounds need to be revisited again and again—and that is part of the process, not a failure.
Forgiveness does not erase the past.
But it can free us from being bound to it.
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